Equipping Sons: Proverbs 6

Proverbs 6
12 A scoundrel, a vicious man, lives by crooked speech, 13 winking his eyes, shuffling his feet, pointing with his fingers. 14 With deceit in his heart, he is always plotting evil and sowing discord. 15 Therefore disaster suddenly overcomes him; unexpectedly, he is broken beyond repair. 16 There are six things ADONAI hates, seven which he detests: 17 a haughty look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, 18 a heart that plots wicked schemes, feet swift in running to do evil, 19 a false witness who lies with every breath, and him who sows strife among brothers.
20 My son, obey your father’s command, and don’t abandon your mother’s teaching. 21 Bind them always on your heart, tie them around your neck. 22 When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you wake up, they will talk with you. 23 For the mitzvah is a lamp, Torah is light, and reproofs that discipline are the way to life.

Teach these things to your sons, Momma, and do not fear the words of the Scriptures. They are life-giving and will get into his soul before he needs them, and he will be equipped to think about what choices he will make in any given situation. Do not wait to equip him until it is too late and he has to search it out or make a mistake and back-pedal.

The Scripture continues:

24 They keep you from an evil woman, from a loose woman’s seductive tongue. 25 Don’t let your heart lust after her beauty or allow her glance to captivate you. 26 The price… (Read More)

Teach him these words from very young, and as he grows, the set apart spirit will show him the meanings it has for his life!

Shalom and blessings to you~

Mrs. Dixon

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Mrs. Jacque Dixon and her husband, Matt, have graduated 2 daughters and continue to train their remaining children up in YHVH’s narrow way, home schooling on their small homestead in Indiana. She is co-owner and Manager of Gleaning the Harvest, a mission founded by the Dixons, presenting widowed/single mother home school families to YHVH’s people. She is owner and publisher of Training Sons to Be Men, and Training Daughters, Teaching Wives. You can also read encouraging home school articles and more about the Dixon family at Walking Therein.

Making My Own Decisions

Little Caleb, four, upon being told he needed to do something, said to Momma, “But I want to make my own decisions.”

“I know,” said Momma. “And you can make your own decisions. You get to decide what flavour of ice cream you want and which shirt you are putting on today, don’t you?”

“Well, yes,” said Caleb. “But I want to decide what I want to do or don’t want to do too.”

“I know you do,” said Momma. “We all want to make our own decisions. It makes us feel like we are in charge, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, and I want to make my own decisions and be in charge,” Caleb pouted.

Momma smiled. “I know you do, son. You want to be a big strong boy in charge, don’t you?”

“Yep.”

“Well,” said Momma, “Daddy and I will let you be in charge of things you are capable of being in charge of, like your favourite colours and when you need to go potty or which toys you want to play with, but in other things that we are more learned in and know what is best for you, we will be in charge of those things for now, ok?”

“Ok,” Caleb said, still dismayed at the thought of not being able to make all the decisions.

Momma said to her son, “Caleb, I promise that when you are capable of being responsible for the other decisions too, we will let you make those decisions then. You don’t want to decide what’s for dinner or what bills to pay or when to go to the store and those decisions, do you?”

“Well, um, nooooo.”

“And you trust Daddy and Momma to take care of you and teach you, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Well, then, you will have to just let us take care of you and teach you what you need to know when, and it is your responsibility to do what Momma and Daddy tell you. That is your responsibility, son. It is our responsibility to teach you these things, and it is your responsibility to learn them and to do them. If you will do that, you will become a man who is able to make good decisions, and we won’t have to continue to make them for you. Then you will rely on Yah to tell you what he has for you, and you will make the right decisions to follow him in all his ways, and your life will be the best it can be.”

Caleb smiled. He had no more questions, and no more replies to Momma. Certainly he had a lot more to learn, but for now, he understood that one day he would get to make more decisions and for now, he would be happy making the ones that he could make for himself.

Proverbs 1
7 The fear of יהוה is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. 8 My son, heed the discipline of your father, and do not abandon the teaching of your mother; 9 they will be a garland to grace your head, a medal of honor for your neck.

Shalom and blessings to you~

Mrs. Dixon

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Mrs. Jacque Dixon and her husband, Matt, train their nine children up in Yahveh’s narrow way, home schooling on their small homestead in Indiana. She is co-owner and Manager of Gleaning the Harvest, a mission founded by the Dixons, presenting widowed/single mother home school families to Yahweh’s people. She is owner and publisher of Training Sons to Be Men, and Training Daughters, Teaching Wives. You can also read encouraging home school articles and more about the Dixon family at Walking Therein.

Bless These Boys

Genesis 48
8 Then Isra’el noticed Yosef’s sons and asked, “Whose are these?” 9 Yosef answered his father, “They are my sons, whom God has given me here.” Ya’akov replied, “I want you to bring them here to me, so that I can bless them.” 10 Now Isra’el’s eyes were dim with age, so that he could not see. Yosef brought his sons near to him, and he kissed them and embraced them. 11 Isra’el said to Yosef, “I never expected to see even you again, but God has allowed me to see your children too!” 12 Yosef brought them out from between his legs and prostrated himself on the ground. 13 Then Yosef took them both, Efrayim in his right hand toward Isra’el’s left hand and M’nasheh in his left hand toward Isra’el’s right hand, and brought them near to him. 14 But Isra’el put out his right hand and laid it on the head of the younger one, Efrayim, and put his left hand on the head of M’nasheh – he intentionally crossed his hands, even though M’nasheh was the firstborn. 15 Then he blessed Yosef: “The God in whose presence my fathers Avraham and Yitz’chak lived, the God who has been my own shepherd all my life long to this day, 16 the angel who has rescued me from all harm, bless these boys.

May they remember who I am and what I stand for, and likewise my fathers Avraham and Yitz’chak, who they were and what they stood for. And may they grow into teeming multitudes on the earth.

blessings~

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Mrs. Jacque Dixon and her husband, Matt, train their nine children up in Yahveh’s narrow way, home schooling on their small homestead in Indiana. She is co-owner and Manager of Gleaning the Harvest, a mission founded by the Dixons, presenting widowed/single mother home school families to Yahweh’s people. She is owner and publisher of Training Sons to Be Men, and Training Daughters, Teaching Wives. You can also read encouraging home school articles and more about the Dixon family at Walking Therein.

Training? Or Bribing?

The question here is not a matter of how or even why. The question here is not about motivation. The question here is: “What about Scriptures?” What do the Scriptures say about training our children up to truly love and  follow their GOD and to honor their parents?

I have never been good with incentives in training our children. I used a chart with stickers once for a few months to help Eric when he was potty-training. That went ok. I have many times threatened that I was going to not allow this or that unless they earned so many credits or whatever you want to call them. I have toyed with the idea that that is a good motivation to get them to do things. But, the Scriptures always get in the way of that for us.

We are told to love YHVH- God with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength and to love our neighbors as ourselves. Children, additionally, are instructed to honour and obey their parents. It is the first commandment given with a promise attached to the obedience. IF they obey their parents, THEN they will live long on the earth and it may be well with them. Now, logically speaking, it makes sense that if you train up a child who obeys their parents, then they will have a loving and obedient heart and their lives will be better. They are likely to live longer, because they will be good citizens and functioning adults. However, we don’t even have to accept that that works out logically. We have a promise in the commandment. YHVH does not give his commandments or his promises lightly.

So, for our family, in reading the Scriptures, the questions come down to: “Where is your heart?” The Scriptures tell us that where your heart is turned toward, that is what you will consider your treasure. If I have to promise my son something that he can do or have to get him to do something I ask him, he is neither doing it out of love for His GOD nor his honouring of his dad or me. It is true that whatever he is motivated toward getting is what he is honouring. If he is motivated toward getting something for himself, am I training him to be selfish and put himself first?

On the other hand, if there is a standard that is set for him to meet and there are blessings that sometimes come because he has worked toward these standards of the heart and work around the home, does that not teach him to do all things to the glory of YHVH and to work honourably, of his own desire and volition to please GOD and his parents? Does this not train him to do what is expected of him, regardless of the rewards, knowing full well that his parents and ultimately YHVH are caring for him, loving him, and have his best interest at their hearts, regardless of what he “wants”?

What kind of an adult will this train the son into?

One thing that I read that Michael Pearl has made clear in his child-training books is this: Spoiled, disobedient children will learn to behave in a socially-acceptable manner. You will not often find a ten-year-old who will throw a full-blown tantrum in public. However, you will find a demanding, spoiled ten-year-old acting out his disobedient heart in many other ways. Perhaps it is an eye-roll. Or maybe a sigh. Or a foot-stomping. Whatever the outward response of rebellion is does not matter. The point is that it is an outward expression of disobedience, and this outward expression may change, but the inward disobedience is the same spirit that reigns in the heart of a two-year-old, a ten-year-old or a twenty-plus-year-old. It will not magically go away once they grow up.

NOW is the time to train our sons to know that there is a standard. This standard is set by YHVH, and we, as the representatives of YHVH- God are here to help him live by these standards. The commandments are for the good of our children. They are not to “keep them from having fun” or squelch their personalities. We are training up adults here, not boys. We are training up men. This is why the question,

“What kind of an adult will this train the son into?”

It is of utmost importance to know our own motivations and what we are training into our boys. Is our only goal to get them to obey and do something we want them to do? Is it to shape the heart? Is it to love themselves or their GOD? The goal is what will determine the training.

If we do not have any idea on what or how to train, I would not suggest going out and buying the latest and greatest new book on discipline. I agree with much of what some people give as methods of discipline, but the main book to use in all things in training up our children is one thing: Scripture. Only by learning and loving the Scriptures and commandments given to us to keep us as a set apart people will we as adults learn to live as we were created to and train up men and women who will do the same.

My suggestion, based on Scriptural principles of training our sons, would be to firmly teach your sons in the Scriptures. For your little guy, do not only default to a children’s Bible story. Get out the Scripture and read the passages yourself so you know the actual story. As your child grows and you read the children’s story of Noah, or David, or Jonah, add in the details of the story. Focus on the truth and meat of the story, not just the fluff that most books give to a child just so they get the basics. Know the truth of the stories well enough that when you read or watch a video that is inaccurate according to the truth of Scripture you can point it out to your son. Man writes these devotionals and makes the Bible videos. Many times, I have found, they are not accurate in their portrayal of Scriptures. We have told our children many times what is incorrect. We must correct it. We must hold Scriptures higher than man’s ability or knowledge, even if that means telling them their favourite video is not what the Scriptures say. (And be bold! Don’t continue to let them watch or read these things that are contrary to the truth of Scripture!)

Train them up to LOVE the Scriptures. Read to your child out of the Scriptures themselves. They do not have to view them as old, boring words for adults. In them is life for everyone. For all of your sons, start in the Old Testament. Build up a knowledge and a love of who our Creator and our GOD really is. Obviously, be discreet in some stories, but be sure to let them hear the pains that his people went through. Let them know that they are people and sinned and repented and were forgiven and never forsaken. Do not just teach them that accepting Jesus-Yehoshua as Messiah will give them the happiest and most fulfilling life they can have. They need a foundation with answers and real-life truths. Our Messiah lived with a base of the Scriptures – the Old Testament teachings and writings, as his foundation. What better foundation to give our sons than the one their Messiah had? That base is a firm understanding of YHVH- God and his plan for a people set apart and called unto him, trusting in him alone as their GOD and Father.

Do not think that because your son is twelve or fifteen that all is lost. Certainly, if he has been trained to put other things and himself first above honouring and obeying YHVH and his parents, there will be struggles. This will be a major shift in focus and intentions. It will be like ripping a weed out at the roots. Have you ever done that? There is a method to doing it so that all other things around it are not destroyed. The bad roots in our lives are often intertwined with other good things. We must be firm in our standings in the Scripture, but allow the Holy Spirit to use gentleness, love, peace, patience and self-control to lovingly teach our sons as these bad roots are weeded out of their lives.

Firstly, it must be done firmly, lovingly and rooted in Scriptural principles.We will have to brace ourselves in Scripture as if to hold the soil around the roots, so we don’t disturb everything when we pull it out. Sometimes, we will have to spend time sifting the dirt around the roots as the straggling pieces stay in the soil of his life. If rebellion has set in for those years, it will take prayer and a change of heart placed in your son by YHVH. It is not impossible. It is the calling and desire of our great Elohim-God, though, to have our sons’ hearts fully planted in him, and it is for us to allow that to happen, continuing in praying for and with our son as he himself starts to see his own heart in light of the Scriptures and commands of the GOD he wants to know and love.

It is a process for our older sons, just as it is for us. Have the Scriptural expectations, but give the grace to him that you yourself expect from YHVH as he disciplines your own sinfulness. See it as a partnership to learn and grow with your son as he learns and grows. We are not their taskmasters, but their mothers, and we love them and want them to become what they are created to be, not what we want them to be. Scripture and the Holy Spirit will lead him, and we are there to answer and guide where we are also led to by the Father who already has the best plan for our lives in place.

Training? Or bribing? You decide. In the end, it depends on what treasure you want their hearts to focus on. As for me and my house, I pray we can train them to love YHVH and to walk in his ways, not the ways of the world.

Shalom~

Jacque Sig

http://aponderingheart.com/blog

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Mrs. Jacque Dixon and her husband, Matt, train their nine children up in YHVH’s narrow way, home schooling on their small homestead in Indiana. She is co-owner and Manager of Gleaning the Harvest, a mission founded by the Dixons, presenting widowed/single mother home school families to YHVH’s people. She is owner and publisher of Training Sons to Be Men, and Training Daughters, Teaching Wives. You can also read encouraging home school articles and more about the Dixon family at Walking Therein.

Best Dog in the West

Our Littles love to watch Old Yeller. It’s one of those movies I have to hide so it doesn’t get put back in and re-played for hours and hours… and days… and days…

It was also a favourite of mine as a child. I still cry when Travis realizes he has it, and then when he has to put him down.

They just finished watching it, and I am cracking up, because I can hear Caleb singing,

“Come back Yeller,

Come back Yeller!

Best Dog dog dog in the West”

Jacque Sig

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Mrs. Jacque Dixon and her husband, Matt, train their nine children up in Yahveh’s narrow way, home schooling on their small homestead in Indiana. She is co-owner and Manager of Gleaning the Harvest, a mission founded by the Dixons, presenting widowed/single mother home school families to Yahweh’s people. She is owner and publisher of Training Sons to Be Men, and Training Daughters, Teaching Wives. You can also read encouraging home school articles and more about the Dixon family at Walking Therein.

Blogging Prompts for Young Men

We use blogging in our home school, and lately, I have not had time to get our children on and make sure they are doing what they need to. It’s time to get a list of prompts for them to write about and also update the schedule they have.

Eric is our young man who blogs. He is 12.

Prompts for young men to blog about:

Bible verses
How-to: “Clean my room”, “mow the lawn”, “Take care of my pet- animal, etc”
What is new at our home
How I help at home – chore list
What Dad and I Do Together
What I learned today
How I Help teach my little brothers
Fun things I like to do
About my pets
Memes: Our children participate in weekly memes:
Photos and descriptions
Farm life- City life
Going to the Library
My favourite books
Recipes
What I like to cook

Blogging Rules, ages 9-12

* You MUST post a Bible-related post once a week.
* 1/2 of your posts MUST be Assignments each week.
* You have 30m to type up your post and publish it. Your posts must be typed up prior to getting online and checked. All posts must be handwritten, prior to typing them up offline.
* You can comment on 3 blogs (this doesn’t include family blogs.
*You have 30m/week online to design your blog. You can Blog design offline for 1H. Blog design offline includes working on Paint, photos, etc..
* You have nominal time to research your Assignments, if necessary.
* All posts must be done on the day PRIOR TO your blogging day.
* Special permissions will be granted to extend these times.

Schedule:
Here is the schedule for Eric:  He has 30m to type up these posts, and they do not have to be typed up on the day of. We will likely choose one day to have him do this.

He has the same “rules” as Hannah, but has more time to be online.

Monday: Your choice to post what you like to.
Thursday: LLM meme
Friday: US History meme
Saturday: Psalm & Praise meme

Does your child have a blog? Do you have a schedule or goals for their blogging? Specifying what is edifying for them to blog, and when they can be on the computer is part of what we do to safeguard them online. What types of rules do you have to safeguard them online?

Jacque Sig

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Mrs. Jacque Dixon and her husband, Matt, train their eight children up in the LORD home schooling on their small homestead in Indiana. They are the founders of Gleaning the Harvest, presenting widows and fatherless to the Body of Christ. She is owner and publisher of Training Sons to Be Men, and Training Daughters, Teaching Wives, where she is a regular columnist. You can also read encouraging home school articles and more about the Dixon family at Walking Therein.

Read more at: Blogging to Learn

Blogging to Learn: Assignments, Rules, Schedules

A Gentleman

Daddy to Caleb: Do you know what a gentleman is?

Caleb: “No.”

Daddy: It is a gentle man, otherwise they would have called it a meanman.

He got the point… And is now drifting off to sleep, as Daddy hums Amazing Grace, Calebs favourite song…. :)

Proverbs 13:1
A son who heeds his father’s discipline is wise, but a scoffer doesn’t listen to rebuke.

I am blessed~

Jacque Sig

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